Yet another day in the ocean of isolated days. We are so lucky that sun still keeps shining and this beautiful city keeps showing it´s best sides. And we for sure need that, living these most weird times of our lifetime. Every single sight of light, hope and love is needed now.
It´s very interesting to see how this ”online world” brings new innovations and new ways of connecting. As a small side note, we have been doing a Toastmaster course here for several weeks and obviously also got caught by the lock down. That course is about public speaking, but I´m glad they decided to go ahead with it even if we can´t meet onsite (usually super important ´cause you´re learning about body language etc). Has been truly interesting to see how people use the online tools creatively to engage better, how they can deliver feelings and important messages and love to each other. Unique moments that I will for sure remember for long time.
My speech today was about the importance of the human touch – the ”skin hunger” I wrote about earlier..can´t shout out loud enough how much I already miss a hug from an other person. That´ll be the day!
Let´s carry on with the cornerstones of love. Maybe to reflect a bit yesterdays first topic of self awareness and love. Think I did not emphasize enough the love part in that. Yes it is important to know yourself, but it will only turn into something good, if you truly learn to love yourself, the whole package. Obviously I mean very healthy love relationship, it needs to be an aware type love, where you see yourself through realistic and open eyes, understand the possible weak spots, but can still accept and fall in love with yourself. Wrong type of self love can be complete opposite, truly blinding and destroying
Then the second topic, building the foundation with same values. This one is a wide topic, values of life. Can mean some many things to different people, but guess that´s the whole point. If they are too different, if they mean too different things, slowly but surely the foundation will start collapsing – if it was ever built.
Think about value for equality, not only between men and women but on everything. If the preferences on this are too extreme, it will be very difficult to build solid ground. Or what´s your opinion? Could you see a problem rising in a relationship where the other person thinks women should be paid the same as men. While the other half…well, is just not smart enough to think the same? 🙂
An interesting one in my mind is also the overall value towards other people, the appreciation of good manners and treating people nice. Being kind and gentle. Maybe I have just seen too many examples of people who live in their own world and cant´t treat others nicely, don´t open the door for elderly, always remember to make that nasty comment on someone else etc. If they couple with someone who values manners high, always treats others nice, spreads to good will and kindness etc. most likely the clash will happen very soon.. and this value often is build quite deep inside us so it might be hard to change.
Goes somewhat hand in hand with overall gratitude and appreciation, the ability to be thankful of what you have today. Makes life hard if two value this differently, relates also much to the rhythm of living – being grateful tends to make days peaceful, being annoyed and wanting more tend to make them uptight and restless.
One very important value is also forgiveness, are we able to let things go or do we have the habit to store everything in our minds and hearts and collect dark clouds. That for sure one day will create a storm.
These values, cornerstones of love often tie together quite nicely. Forgiveness is closely related to self love, it requires good communications skills and willingness to communicate, to understand. Also plenty of self confidence to look deeper. Strong people are brave enough to ask questions, understand why something has happened, before making any judgments. Strong enough to walk away if treated badly, but also strong enough to stand still and listen to understand.
Anyway, idea was not to list all the important values, so I´ll pause here. Idea was more to underline that values are – or at least should be – built so deep into us, that changing them might be a high mountain to climb. Instead it´s a matter of being awake and making right decisions. I would like to quote one Finnish media person who has been married for a looong time. He was once asked what is the secret of their long relationship and he answered:
”just make the right choice” 🙂
So love can be super simple 🙂
Now it´s time to dream a little dream about a world where people can hug each other.
Be safe and keep on loving folks.