Day 5. As good day as any other. Except it´s Monday. Just don´t know what it is in Monday´s but they just are more difficult than any other day 🙂 Even on this lock down period, where it should not matter what day it is. But who ever came up with the idea of having Mondays in the calendar – well done. You did create something quite unique 🙂
Went for a short walk today, again to the beautiful Domain park. Super happy to see how people respect this difficult period and stay very distant from each other. Except of course the couples and families who live in the same bubble anyway. Watching those couples exercise together, did make me feel – for the first time during this whole madness – bit lonely. I sat down under a big tree and just watched them, felt the love and care between them. And thought how different our days are during the lock down. They can walk home together, hand in hand, talking about small and big things in life while walking. At home they can decide what kind of bubble they today want to live in today, is it caring and loving bubble, is it more practical ”let´s make sure our home is clean” kind of bubble. Can also be more like ”let´s take our clothes of” type of bubble but I won´t get there..yet 🙂
But the point being that when together, you can create so many variations of your day, the emotional side of it. And I´m so happy for all the couples and families who can do that. Who can spend a quiet evening just reading a book, or listening music. No need for words, just the ”awareness” that the other person is there. Or they can have a conversation, lay out all the anxiety and fear that life at the moment brings.. and they can comfort and touch when it becomes hard, having someone to dry your tears is precious.
It´s very different when being alone. There of course is online tools for talking, seeing smiling faces on the computer screen etc. but does it replace the need for another human being in the same room. Not really, nothing beats that touch. With few friends we actually discussed over the weekend what are the important things in other person when dating. Touch and smell were high on the list, not to of course mention kissing 🙂
One of the beautiful souls I´ve met during my #newlife here, Kaisla, sent me a quite relevant New York Times story about this topic. It was called
”What do we lose when we stop touching each other”. What a GREAT question that is!
The story said that psychologists call our longing for human touch a ”skin hunger”. I think it´s a great name. Just think about it, what feels better in bad day that a warm hug from a dear friend, or moment of love when someone gently touches your face. Or with your small children, those moments when they walk with you in a park and all of a sudden want to hold you hand – that little hand in yours. It´s the shape of fragility and eternity of love right there.
There was some interesting details about us humans and how touching impacts us – physical touch triggers the orbit of frontal cortex in brain and that leads into compassion feelings and releases oxytocin, regular touch reduces levels of stress hormones and University of Nort Carolina has even studied the impact of hugging – scientific prove that it stimulates the white blood cell production and helps fight infections. Also been studied by Carnegie Mellow that women who are hugged often, have fewer flu symptoms. How ironic is that? We should touch and hug more to avoid infections, but can´t due to the crazy isolation, most likely caused by too much touching in wrong places. Life has a twisted sense of humor AND romance.
But really loved that story since the writer was rightly concerned with future ”what happens after this period”. Have we lost our natural ability to touch other person, are we too afraid to hug and shake hands again?
I truly truly truly hope this is not the case, let´s just be the same old loving us and reach out to others. No, let´s actually agree to be just slightly more skin hungry in the future!
So yes, quite clear that melancholic Monday has made me miss that touch bit more than normal. And since it made me think about the relationships, dating and love, maybe during the week I´ll write about my views around relationships. What does it take in my mind to create a strong couple, what are the building blocks and cornerstones of love. Let´s see if you agree or disagree..would love to hear your comments during the week.
Now just enjoy the evening / day with your loved ones, touch them just slightly more gentle than yesterday, but just bit less than tomorrow.
And keep on loving folks.