Day 3

Third day turning into an evening. It´s just so amazing feeling to wake up or go to bed in this place now. I live in ”K road” which is maybe the most wild street of all in Auckland. Every evening and night I hear music, people singing, loving, hating, laughing and having fun together. When I step out on the street on normal evening, it´s full of lights, it´s a full circus of life in it´s all possible aspects.
Now there´s total silence. Walking on the street in the evening is like walking in a ghost town, no music, no people, no nothing. If there´s a place in New Zealand where you can feel the impact of this lock down, guess this is it. In a way very sad feeling, also scary, but so new and exiting that even don´t know what to think. Silence is calming in the evenings and mornings, but i truly truly miss all the signs of LIFE here, this place is just so colorful..
Today I did go out, bicycled around the city and what also was a weird experience. Usually this city is not optimal for bicycling, lacks lot of bike lanes etc. But now – what an experience it was to go around the empty city. Yes it was also bit spooky when there was hardly anyone there. But it also woke a totally new ”emotion” in me, new kind of love towards a city without cars. What a feeling of freedom it was to cycle around the empty streets..felt like I was in a movie 🙂 Movie about the future where people are happy and sun shines brighter 🙂
Wonderful experience also from yesterday evening was to use modern technology and video chat with several friends. Our catch up call ended up being a quite emotional 1.5. hours, mainly reg. the challenges this situation brings to each individual. The ability to express fears, worry about the future together and support each other in an online meeting – new experience for me, but very powerful. Demonstrated in beautiful way how in difficult times we do find that extra layer from us, we step out from our shadows, we reach out to others and unite virtual hands to be stronger together.
On a personal note – think I´m still waiting how this isolation will truly ”hit me”. I have of course spent so much time alone already before this, so experience is not new. But the lack of choice, the fact that you´re forced away from your natural choices of meeting people, going on a date, hoping for a kiss for goodnight etc. That I´m not sure how weeks will impact. How much I will start missing just the possibility to ask someone out, just for a walk, gallery visit etc. Yet, this difficult period is a great reminder of the ”first world problems” that we have. Things that I worry and ”complain”.. so many people in this world don´t even have a change to dream about them. So I go to sleep tonight with just a grateful mind, thankful of everything I today have and tomorrow will bring.
To finish of this diary day 3, I´m trying something new. All my poems in this blog are in Finnish, but for the first time ever, I´ll try something in English

Where would I go
All these windows
my gate to fly
but where would I go
just keep whispering the same
no, shout I try
just so quiet don´t want to wake
next door, strangers they are
baby is cute, innocent, I let it be
sitting here, I hear them
the gate is open
lights behind the window
just an invitation, is it green
that I wait
but why
where would I go
so many times before
this quiet shout, my voice is gone
you know what I mean
why can´t you hear
you know my words
why can´t you guide
light the right light
shall I fly now?

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